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Perimenopause Unfiltered: Sleep Struggles, Anxiety, and the Power of Empathy

"Empathy is a strange and powerful thing. There is no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It's simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of 'You're not alone.'" Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

Perimenopause and Sleep Disruptions: Why Can’t I Sleep?

Perimenopause and sleep struggles go hand in hand. As estrogen and progesterone levels fluctuate, many women experience insomnia, night sweats, and increased anxiety that disrupts deep sleep. The 3 AM wake-ups? Blame hormones. The anxious spiraling thoughts that make falling back asleep impossible? Another gift of this transitional phase. Research confirms that hormonal changes in perimenopause directly impact melatonin production and the body's circadian rhythm, making sleep disturbances a common frustration. If you’re tossing and turning, you’re not alone. In this post, we’ll explore why perimenopause impacts sleep, the connection between hormones and anxiety, and proven strategies to get the rest you deserve.

The Hidden Journey of Perimenopause: Understanding the Transition

Perimenopause wasn’t always widely recognized. You were either in menopause or you weren’t. But science has finally caught up with our lived experiences: perimenopause is a messy, unpredictable transition leading up to menopause, often spanning years of fluctuating hormones and erratic symptoms.

According to the North American Menopause Society, perimenopause typically begins in your 40s, though some women experience symptoms as early as their late 30s. Irregular periods, night sweats, sleep disturbances, and mood swings are just a few of the delights this stage has to offer.

The History of Perimenopause: How the Term Came to Be

The term “perimenopause” only gained traction in the late 20th century as women’s health research finally started prioritizing our experiences. Before that, our struggles were dismissed, minimized, or misdiagnosed. The term itself comes from the Greek peri, meaning "around" or "near," making it clear: this is the lead-up to menopause, not the finish line.

The Power of Community: Sharing Perimenopause Experiences

I have friends who are breezing through perimenopause and others who are completely blindsided by it. The more we share, the more we realize how little we were prepared for this. There’s comfort in knowing we’re not alone.

Research confirms what we feel: social support significantly improves mental health outcomes during perimenopause. Talking about it normalizes the symptoms, reduces stigma, and fosters a sense of community.

Perimenopause and Mental Health: Understanding Mood Swings and Anxiety

For years, the go-to strategy for women in male-dominated fields was to "suck it up" and power through. But understanding the science behind perimenopause changes the game. Hormone fluctuations impact everything—mood, sleep, metabolism, and cognitive function.

For example, estrogen plays a key role in serotonin production—the neurotransmitter that stabilizes mood. As estrogen levels dip, anxiety and mood swings become more frequent. Recognizing these biological changes empowers us to seek effective solutions instead of just pushing through.

The Sleeplessness-Anxiety Spiral: Why It Feels Endless

Sleep anxiety is real. Knowing you need rest but being unable to get it? Torture. I work from home, which means I can sneak in a nap if needed, but making plans outside my comfort zone triggers major anxiety. Will I even sleep the night before?

The Sleep Foundation reports that perimenopausal hormonal changes disrupt the sleep-wake cycle, leading to insomnia and fragmented sleep. This cycle can feel endless—but there are ways to break it.

Perimenopause Sleep Solutions: Tips for Restful Nights

Stick to a Sleep Schedule: Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day helps regulate your body’s clock.

Wind Down with Intention: Ditch screens before bed and swap them for a warm bath, book, or meditation.

Limit Caffeine and Alcohol: Both can wreak havoc on sleep. Cutting back (especially in the evening) can make a difference.

Upgrade Your Sleep Space: Cool, dark, and quiet is the goal. Invest in good pillows and a mattress that supports deep sleep.

Consider Sleep Supplements: Melatonin, magnesium, or adaptogens like ashwaganda, can support relaxation—but always consult a healthcare provider first.

Navigating Perimenopause Conversations: Breaking the Silence

I’m traveling next month, and the anxiety has already set in. Many of us have parents from the "suck it up and move on" generation, making these conversations challenging. While empathy may not always be their strong suit, we can approach these discussions with patience and a few key strategies.

How to Talk About Perimenopause with Family and Friends

Experts like Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, a Yale University professor specializing in menopause, stress the importance of open communication. But sometimes, empathy isn’t immediately available. If you’re met with dismissiveness, consider these approaches:

Educate and Inform: Share articles, books, or podcasts to give others a better understanding of what you're experiencing.

State Your Needs Clearly: Instead of expecting immediate understanding, try saying, “This is a difficult time for me, and I’d really appreciate your support.”

Set Boundaries: If someone refuses to acknowledge your experience, you’re not obligated to keep explaining.

Find Your People: Surround yourself with those who do listen—whether in real life or online support communities.

Practice Self-Compassion: Even if others don’t get it, you do. Validate your own experience.

Finding Balance: Self-Care for Perimenopause

While navigating perimenopause, prioritizing self-care is essential. Regular movement (strength training, yoga, walks in nature), a nutrient-rich diet, and mindfulness practices can make a huge difference. Don’t underestimate the power of joy—whether that’s a hobby, laughter, or meaningful conversations.

Conclusion: You’re Not Alone in Perimenopause

Perimenopause is more than just a phase—it’s a transformation. Yes, it’s frustrating. Yes, it’s exhausting. But it’s also an opportunity to redefine how we care for ourselves.

By understanding the hormonal shifts at play, seeking support, and sharing our experiences, we can move through this chapter with resilience, strength, and a whole lot of self-compassion.

And if nothing else, let’s remind each other: we’re in this together.

Hormonally Yours,

Kimberlee Erin

✨ Perimenopause Power Moves: Transform Your Hormones and Health! ✨
Grab your free guide today! Recipes included!
👉 Download Now!

References:

1. North American Menopause Society. (2023). Understanding Perimenopause. Retrieved from [URL]

2. Sleep Foundation. (2023). Hormonal Changes and Sleep. Retrieved from [URL]

3. Minkin, M. J. (2023). Expert insights on perimenopause. [URL]

4. Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Hazelden Publishing. ISBN: 978-1592858491.

Just a heads-up: I’m a Certified Menopause Coaching Specialist and Holistic Nutritionist, and while I love sharing what’s worked for me and my clients, this blog is for informational purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical advice. Always check in with your healthcare provider before starting new supplements, hormones, or treatments—especially since every woman’s perimenopause journey is different. You deserve personalized care that truly fits you.