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Sleep Deprived and Craving Wine? How to Cope in Perimenopause

A holistic guide to breaking the cycle of exhaustion, hormonal imbalance, and alcohol cravings in midlife.

"Alcohol is a depressant, meaning it slows down brain function and neural activity. Booze quickly passes through the bloodstream and crosses the blood-brain barrier, where it begins to affect various parts of the brain. This is why even a few drinks can lead to noticeable changes in behavior, mood, and cognitive abilities". ~ Sarah Rusbatch

When Sleep Slips Away

Sleep deprivation became my silent saboteur—creeping into my nights and leaving exhaustion in its place. If you’re in perimenopause, you likely know this struggle well. Those once-deep, restorative nights? They’ve been replaced by tossing, turning, night sweats, and a mind that just won’t turn off.

It’s frustrating, disorienting, and, some nights, downright defeating.

Fatigue clouds our thoughts, darkens our mood, and makes even basic tasks feel monumental. And when exhaustion teams up with desperation, our brains search for relief—sometimes in the form of old habits we thought we’d long outgrown.

The Allure of Alcohol in Sleepless Nights

I’ve made a commitment to drink less, to be more mindful—and most days, that feels empowering. But in moments of deep exhaustion, a familiar thought creeps in: What’s the harm? If I’m not sleeping anyway, maybe just one glass…

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. When we’re worn thin, our brains reach for quick relief—and alcohol promises that. A nightcap, a glass of wine—it’s easy to believe it’ll help us relax and drift off.

But here’s the truth: it rarely delivers what it promises.

Alcohol may knock us out, but it hijacks the kind of deep sleep we desperately need. It interferes with melatonin, spikes cortisol, and leaves us groggy, anxious, and regretful the next morning. It’s a vicious cycle—one that many midlife women find themselves stuck in.

Alcohol may help you fall asleep faster, but it blocks REM sleep and leads to fragmented, non-restorative rest.”
— Dr. Michael Breus, The Sleep Doctor

And for midlife women already battling hormonal sleep disruption, this effect is even more pronounced.

Understanding the Hormonal Connection

One of the biggest surprises of perimenopause? How sensitive our hormones become to alcohol.

Personally, I’ve experienced what’s often called estrogen dominance—where estrogen is high relative to progesterone. While experts like Dr. Mary Claire Haver caution against using this term as a blanket diagnosis, the symptoms are hard to ignore.

And here’s the kicker: our liver is responsible for processing estrogen. But when alcohol enters the picture, the liver shifts gears to metabolize the booze first, pushing estrogen detox to the back burner. The result? Estrogen hangs around longer than it should, intensifying perimenopausal symptoms like:

• Heavy or irregular periods

• Mood swings and heightened anxiety

• Weight gain, especially around the midsection

• Night sweats and hot flashes

• Brain fog and persistent fatigue

As if that weren’t enough, women process alcohol less efficiently than men. And with age, our liver function naturally declines—meaning alcohol lingers longer and hits harder.

The Sleep-Hormone-Alcohol Spiral

Lack of sleep and hormonal imbalance create a self-perpetuating cycle:

• Poor sleep raises cortisol, which further disrupts estrogen and progesterone balance.

• Hormonal imbalance leads to sleep disturbances, making it even harder to rest.

• Alcohol consumption spikes cortisol and worsens estrogen processing, fueling the cycle.

To break free, we need to take a holistic approach—one that prioritizes both sleep and hormone health while eliminating habits that sabotage our well-being.

Reclaiming Rest: A Holistic Approach

If you’re stuck in this cycle, you’re not alone. Here’s how I’ve found my way back to better sleep and balance—without relying on alcohol:

1. Build a Sleep-Supporting Routine

• Stick to a consistent bedtime and wake-up time.

• Wind down with a calming ritual—reading, meditation, or deep breathing.

• Avoid screens an hour before bed to support melatonin production.

2. Stabilize Blood Sugar and Cortisol

• Eat meals rich in protein, fiber, and healthy fats to prevent nighttime crashes.

• Cut back on alcohol, caffeine, and sugar in the evening.

• Stay hydrated, but limit liquids close to bedtime to avoid nighttime awakenings.

3. Create a Restorative Sleep Environment

• Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet.

• Use blackout curtains and white noise machines if needed.

• Invest in breathable bedding to prevent overheating.

4. Replace Alcohol with Healthier Alternatives

• Try herbal teas like chamomile or valerian root to ease stress.

• Sip sparkling water with lemon for a refreshing treat.

• Enjoy mocktails with kombucha or coconut water to satisfy the ritual of drinking.

5. Manage Stress with Intentional Practices

• Move your body daily—yoga, walking, or gentle stretching can help.

• Journal your emotions instead of bottling them up.

• Seek support from a therapist, coach, or supportive community.

The Power of Self-Love in Sobriety

"The goal isn’t to be sober. The goal is to love yourself so much you don’t need to drink." – Sarah Rusbatch

Choosing not to drink isn’t about deprivation—it’s about liberation. It’s about choosing self-care over self-sabotage. And when we shift our mindset from punishment to empowerment, everything changes.

How to Cultivate Self-Love

• Practice self-compassion—be kind to yourself in moments of struggle.

• Set boundaries—protect your energy and say no to what drains you.

• Celebrate progress—every night of restful sleep and alcohol-free choice is a win.

• Do what brings you joy—whether it’s dancing, painting, or simply taking a deep breath of fresh air.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Perimenopause can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. The more we educate ourselves, lean on each other, and make empowered choices, the more we regain control over our well-being.

What You Can Do Today:

✅ Keep learning—understanding the hormone-sleep-alcohol connection puts the power in your hands
✅ Find your people—reach out to others who “get it”
✅ Talk to a provider if cravings or insomnia are overwhelming
✅ Be patient—real change takes time, but it does come

You deserve deep, healing sleep. You deserve to feel at home in your body again. And you are so not alone on this journey.

Let’s keep walking it—together.

Hormonally yours,

Kimberlee Erin

Just a heads-up: I’m a Certified Menopause Coaching Specialist and Holistic Nutritionist, and while I love sharing what’s worked for me and my clients, this blog is for informational purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical advice. Always check in with your healthcare provider before starting new supplements, hormones, or treatments—especially since every woman’s perimenopause journey is different. You deserve personalized care that truly fits you.