
The Power of Loving-Kindness in Perimenopause: A Self-Compassion Reset
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The Power of Loving-Kindness in Perimenopause: A Radical Act of Self-Compassion
"Through my love for you, I want to express my love for the whole cosmos, the whole of humanity, and all beings. By living with you, I want to learn to love everyone and all species. If I succeed in loving you, I will be able to love everyone and all species on Earth." â Thich Nhat Hanh
Hey there, friendâletâs talk about something radically healing for perimenopause self-care.
If youâre riding the rollercoaster of perimenopause mood swings, anxiety, or just feeling a little unrecognizable in your own skin, you're not alone. This phase isnât just about hot flashes and night sweatsâitâs a hormonal shake-up that can rock your confidence, your sleep, and your sense of self.
So what can help when everything feels like too much?
Loving-kindness meditation.
Yes, really. Itâs not just sitting cross-legged and chanting into the voidâitâs a simple, powerful practice that helps you treat yourself with the compassion you actually deserve (but maybe forgot you did).
Why Loving-Kindness (Metta) Matters in Perimenopause
Letâs be realâwhen your hormones are acting like toddlers on a sugar high, self-compassion can feel like a far-off fantasy. But loving-kindness meditation is the antidote to that inner critic whoâs been extra loud lately.
Also called Metta Bhavana, this practice helps rewire your brain for resilience, calm, and connection. Itâs especially powerful for perimenopausal anxiety relief and emotional health because it:
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Calms the stress that comes from feeling like a walking mood swing
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Shuts down that snarky voice in your head calling your body âtoo muchâ or ânot enoughâ
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Soothes racing thoughts so you can actually get some sleep
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Builds emotional strength when everything else feels like itâs unraveling
This isnât magicâbut it can be life-changing.
You Are the Hero of Your Perimenopause Journey
A lot of us try to muscle through this season with a âjust keep goingâ attitude. We treat our symptoms like enemies, our changing bodies like problems to fix, and ourselves like afterthoughts.
But what if you stopped fighting it?
What if perimenopause wasnât the beginning of the endâbut the start of a deeper relationship with yourself?
Loving-kindness isnât about pretending everythingâs fine. Itâs about saying, âThis is hardâand I still deserve gentleness.â Itâs how you shift from self-judgment to self-respect, from burnout to balance.
How to Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta Bhavana)
No incense or yoga pants requiredâjust your breath and a few simple phrases.
1ď¸âŁ Start with Yourself
Find a quiet space (or the car, bathroom, or laundry roomâwhatever works). Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Then repeat:
đ May I be happy.
đ May I be healthy.
đ May I be safe.
đ May I live with ease.
If these words feel weird or uncomfortable, thatâs okay. Keep going. The kindness starts to stick.
2ď¸âŁ Someone You Love
Picture someone you adoreâyour BFF, your kid, your dog. Repeat:
đ May you be happy.
đ May you be healthy.
đ May you be safe.
đ May you live with ease.
3ď¸âŁ Someone Neutral
Think of someone you see but donât know wellâmaybe the grocery clerk or your neighbor who never waves back.
đ May you be happy.
đ May you be healthy.
đ May you be safe.
đ May you live with ease.
4ď¸âŁ Someone You Struggle With
This part? Not easy. But itâs the most transformative.
Picture someone whoâs triggered you (gently). Then, offer them the same words:
đ May you be happy.
đ May you be healthy.
đ May you be safe.
đ May you live with ease.
Youâre not doing it for themâyouâre doing it to lighten your own load.
5ď¸âŁ All Beings Everywhere
Now, expand that love out to everyone:
đ May all beings be happy.
đ May all beings be healthy.
đ May all beings be safe.
đ May all beings live with ease.
Even five minutes of this a day can shift your nervous system and your whole mood. Seriouslyâtry it when youâre spiraling at 3 AM.
Bringing Loving-Kindness Into Your Daily Life
You donât have to sit on a meditation cushion for this to work. You can sprinkle it into your day like salt on roasted veggies:
⨠Morning mantra: âI treat myself with kindnessâespecially when I want to scream into a pillow.â
⨠Self-compassion pause: When you mess up or snap at someone, ask, âWhat would I say to my best friend right now?â
⨠Gratitude journal: Even if itâs âThank you, legs, for hauling me through the day.â
⨠Cup of tea = meditation: Sip slowly. Breathe deeply. Donât scroll.
⨠Kindness to others: A smile, a compliment, a âthinking of youâ text. Bonus: it lifts your spirits, too.
Personal Story: The Day it Clicked
I had one of those daysâyou know the kind. I was cranky, exhausted, and spiraling over everything from my skin to my to-do list. Nothing was working. I felt like a walking hormone bomb.
Instead of numbing out, I tried loving-kindness. (Okay, reluctantly tried it.)
At first, the words felt forced. But halfway through, I noticed my breath softening. My chest unclenching. My brain slowing down. For the first time that day, I felt okay.
Not perfect. Not fixed. But okay.
And sometimes, thatâs everything.
Final Thoughts: Self-Compassion is Your Superpower
Letâs face itâperimenopause is weird. Your body changes, your brain rewires, and some days you feel like a stranger in your own skin.
But youâre not broken.
Youâre evolving.
Loving-kindness gives you a soft place to land in the middle of the mess. It reminds you that youâre worthy of care, patience, and tendernessâespecially from yourself.
So hereâs your loving-kindness challenge:
đ Whatâs one kind thing you can say to yourself right now?
Drop it in the commentsâIâd love to hear it. đ
Need more support with the emotional ups and downs of perimenopause?
Grab my free guide: Tired of Hormonal Chaos? Take Back Controlâitâs like a reset button for your midlife mind and mood.
Hormonally yours,
Kimberlee Erin