Finding Joy Amid the Hormonal Chaos: Embrace Happiness in Perimenopause

“It’s been my experience that you can nearly always enjoy things if you make up your mind firmly that you will.” —L.M. Montgomery

Perimenopause can feel like a whirlwind of hormonal chaos, but what if you could choose joy in the midst of it all? I’ll admit, some days it feels nearly impossible. The lack of sleep, the mood swings, and the constant fatigue can make happiness feel like a distant dream. And I’m not immune to it—sometimes I’m just miserable. I think about past regrets, the mistakes I’ve made, especially with my kids, and wonder, What if I’d done things differently? Maybe I wouldn’t have found myself in certain not-so-great situations. But here’s the thing: we don’t have to wait for everything to be perfect to experience joy. Happiness is a choice we can make right now, in this very moment.

You see, I’ve spent way too much time believing that happiness is tied to some perfect, external outcome. If I had done this, or if that had worked out differently, then maybe I’d finally feel happy. But when I look back, I realize that happiness was never something to chase—it’s something to choose.

Yes, there are days when I don’t feel great—those moments when regret and frustration start to cloud my mind—but that doesn’t mean happiness isn’t available. It's simply a matter of how we choose to respond to those feelings. Sure, life might throw challenges our way (hello, hot flashes and insomnia!), but we can still choose joy by focusing on what we can control: our thoughts, our reactions, and our choices.

Happiness is Your Choice (Seriously)

I know it can be hard to hear when you're in the thick of a perimenopausal whirlwind of night sweats, anxiety, and hormonal chaos, but hear me out—happiness is a choice. Every day, you make decisions. You choose the foods you eat, the thoughts you think, and the people you surround yourself with. You also choose how you react to challenges.

Yes, genetics and circumstances play a role in how you experience life, but you have the power to take control of your happiness—especially when everything else feels out of control. When you acknowledge that you can choose happiness in any given moment, it’s like a lightbulb goes off. It's a total game-changer, especially when you start to realize that even in the middle of your challenges, happiness is always available to you.

The Power of Self-Love for Perimenopausal Happiness

Self-love is the gateway to lasting happiness. When you embrace and love yourself—truly love yourself—you create a solid foundation for happiness. Now, this isn’t about being perfect (I know, I know, that’s hard for us overachievers to swallow), but it’s about accepting where you are and appreciating yourself as you are.

Here’s the kicker: when you love yourself, you begin to create a ripple effect. Your relationships improve. You attract more of what you want. You create space for purpose-driven work that aligns with your values. In perimenopause, this can be particularly powerful. The hormonal shifts you’re experiencing can feel overwhelming, but they can also be a powerful invitation to reconnect with yourself and your needs. Choosing self-love doesn’t just help you thrive through the perimenopausal transition; it helps you navigate the emotional rollercoaster with more peace and clarity.

Finding Happiness in the Chaos

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking happiness only comes when life is perfect. But life in perimenopause is never perfect. And here’s the good news: you don’t need it to be. Happiness can coexist with your chaotic perimenopausal symptoms. The truth is, happiness doesn’t come from controlling your external circumstances—it comes from how you respond to them.

There’s a reason some women in perimenopause still radiate joy. They choose to see the beauty in the small moments, even when their bodies are going through some major shifts. They find humor in the sweat, embrace the wild mood swings, and choose to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Happiness isn’t a destination. It’s a mindset.

Happiness Leads to Success (For Real)

Here’s a little secret: happiness fuels success. Yes, you read that right. Many people believe that success leads to happiness, but it’s actually the other way around. When you feel happy and energized, you’re more motivated to work toward your goals. Your mind is sharper, your creativity flows, and your resilience strengthens. This is especially true when you’re juggling the hormonal ups and downs of perimenopause. Happiness boosts your energy, which means you’re more likely to show up for yourself, your work, and your life.

The Formula for Happiness? There Isn’t One!

Here’s the thing about happiness: it’s personal. There’s no one-size-fits-all recipe. What works for me might not work for you—and that’s okay. Happiness is a unique, ever-evolving journey. As you transition through perimenopause, it’s about finding what lights you up, what fills your cup, and what brings you peace amidst the chaos.

Happiness is about honoring yourself and letting go of the need for perfection. It’s about being flexible and compassionate with yourself, especially when things don’t go as planned. And, let’s be real, that’s often during perimenopause when things feel like they’re constantly changing!

Practical Ways to Choose Happiness Today

So, how do we start choosing happiness today? Here are a few simple (yet powerful) tips to help you find joy in the midst of perimenopause:

1. Set an Intention to Be Happy: Start each day with the intention to choose happiness. Simple as that. When you decide to look for the good, your brain starts to see it.

2. Celebrate the Small Wins: Did you take a walk? Eat a nutritious meal? Celebrate it! Happiness is often found in the little victories.

3. Move Your Body: Exercise isn’t just for your waistline; it’s for your mind too. A quick walk or a yoga session can boost your mood and give you a new perspective.

4. Appreciate the Present Moment: Perimenopause might feel like a never-ending rollercoaster, but appreciating the present moment can shift your entire outlook. Savor the beauty in small, everyday things.

5. Release Control: Trying to control everything—your body, your hormones, your life—can create stress. Surrendering control and trusting the process allows room for more peace.

6. Connect with Yourself: Take time to tune into your body, mind, and soul. Practice mindfulness and ask yourself how you feel—what do you need right now? Listen to your inner voice.

7. Let Go of Comparison: Comparing yourself to others is a happiness killer. Instead, embrace your unique journey through perimenopause. No one has walked in your shoes, and that’s a beautiful thing.

8. Practice Gratitude: Even on the toughest days, there’s always something to be grateful for. Whether it’s a cup of coffee or a supportive friend, gratitude shifts your energy to a positive place.

You Are in Control of Your Happiness

I get it. Some days are harder than others. Perimenopause can bring about so many physical and emotional challenges. But you are not powerless. Your happiness is in your hands. By embracing the changes, nurturing yourself with love, and making daily choices to feel good, you can make the transition smoother and more fulfilling.

Remember, happiness is not something you “get” when everything is perfect. It’s something you choose, every day, no matter what’s going on in your life. And trust me, it’s worth the choice.

You have the power to choose happiness, even when things feel tough.

And remember, this journey doesn’t have to be navigated alone. If you’re struggling with energy, sleep, or managing the emotional rollercoaster of perimenopause, I’ve got you covered. Check out my free resources to help you through this transition:

• So. Damn. Tired: The 3-Day Energy Reset for Midlife Women — A quick, actionable plan to combat fatigue and regain your vitality.

Also, be sure to check out some of my latest blogs for more support and insight:

• Uncharted Waters: Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster of Perimenopause — Understanding and embracing the emotional ups and downs during this phase.

• 5 Signs You’re Stuck in the Past (and How to Finally Let Go) — How to release old patterns and make space for happiness and growth.

Whatever you’re facing, you’re not alone. You have everything you need to thrive, and choosing happiness is part of the path to getting there. Start today, start small, and remember—happiness is a choice you get to make.

Hormonally Yours,

Kimberlee Erin