The Mental Weight of Perimenopause: Why You’re Not Just “Moody”

"You’re not losing your mind. You’re just in perimenopause. Which, honestly, can feel a lot like the same thing."

If you've ever cried over a spilled smoothie, snapped at your partner for breathing weird, or felt an anxiety spiral coming on out of nowhere… you're not crazy. You're not weak. And you’re definitely not alone.

You're likely in perimenopause—and it messes with more than just your period. It hits your mental health like a hormonal wrecking ball.

Let Me Be Real With You…

This isn’t just something I coach or write about—this is personal.

I've struggled with anxiety for most of my life. I had panic attacks as a kid—complete with tunnel vision, heart-racing, and feeling like the world was closing in. In my 20s, during university, it all came back with a vengeance. Looking back, I can see I was chasing perfection, approval, and straight-A burnout—and it cost me my peace.

👉 Curious about how panic attacks have followed me from puberty to perimenopause? I break it all down (with some serious truth bombs) in Panic, Periods & Perimenopause: How ADHD and Hormones Hijacked My Brain

Postpartum depression hit me hard too. And there was no roadmap, no support, just a fog of exhaustion and fear layered with undiagnosed ADHD. I felt judged, invisible, and terrified nearly 100% of the time.

I honestly don’t know when perimenopause started. Maybe in my 40s, when I started using wine to numb the constant low-grade panic and restlessness. Sleep was awful. I was stuck in a cycle of survival. Throw in the regret of not being the parent I wanted to be—and let’s just say it felt like too much.

So if you're feeling like your brain is betraying you? I get it. I've lived it. And there is a way through.

What Even Is Perimenopause?

Perimenopause is the hormonal rollercoaster that leads up to menopause—and it can last years. Estrogen and progesterone start fluctuating like your Wi-Fi during a storm, and the brain? She feels it.

Dr. Lisa Mosconi, neuroscientist and author of The Menopause Brain, says:

“When estrogen production starts to slow down, the brain feels the impact... the very circuits that rely on estrogen to function begin to sputter.”

Estrogen helps regulate serotonin and dopamine—your mood, memory, and motivation crew. When estrogen drops? So do your feel-good vibes.

Progesterone, lovingly called the "calming hormone," also dips—leaving many of us wired, anxious, or wide awake at 3 a.m. with a brain full of what-ifs and to-dos.

This isn’t just about hormones—it’s about how hormones affect your brain.

“Estrogen is one of the most powerful neuroprotective hormones women have.”~ Dr. Lisa Mosconi, The XX Brain

The Sneaky Mental Health Symptoms of Perimenopause

Let’s name what no one warned us about:

• Anxiety that seems to show up for no reason

• Mood swings that hit like weather systems

• Apathy or emotional numbness (like, who even am I?)

• Depression—even if you’ve never dealt with it before

• Panic attacks making a bold comeback

• Exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix

If you’ve felt like a stranger in your own brain lately—this is your reminder that it’s not “just stress.” It’s biology. It’s midlife. And it’s deeply, frustratingly under-discussed.

So… What the Heck Can You Do?

1. Stop Shaming Yourself

Seriously. You are not weak, lazy, or overreacting. You're navigating hormonal chaos in a society that doesn’t talk about it.

As Brené Brown reminds us:

“What we don’t need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human.”

2. Nourish Your Body to Help Your Brain

Protein, healthy fats, fiber—it’s not just for nutrition nerds. It stabilizes blood sugar, feeds your brain, and smooths out some of the highs and lows.

➡️ Grab my Protein Power Plates guide if your meals need a midlife upgrade.

3. Move—In a Way That Feels Good

Exercise boosts endorphins and helps clear hormonal congestion. This could be lifting weights, walking your dog, dancing in your kitchen, or rolling around on a yoga mat pretending you’re stretching.

4. Re-Evaluate That Nightly Wine

I know. Trust me, I know. But alcohol is a depressant, messes with your sleep, and can deepen anxiety over time. Read more in Boozy Betrayal: How Alcohol Fuels Anxiety in Perimenopause—zero shame, just real talk.

5. Protect Your Sleep Like It’s a Full-Time Job

Poor sleep makes everything worse. That middle-of-the-night ruminating? It’s your nervous system screaming for help. Sleep hygiene, stress relief, and sometimes hormone therapy can be game-changers.

➡️ Read the Blog: Tired, Wired, and Unheard: How Perimenopause Hijacks Sleep and Sanity

6. Get Support That Gets It

Therapists. Functional medicine docs. Menopause coaches. You don’t need to tough it out. You need someone who understands this phase of life and can help you through it with tools that actually work.

Let’s Break the Silence (and Maybe a Few Old Narratives)

Perimenopause is emotional. It’s raw. But it’s also powerful.

We’re not here to shrink ourselves or suffer silently. We’re here to:

• Speak openly about our mental health

• Ask for help without guilt

• Support each other through the messy middle

• Own our resilience, even when we’re exhausted

“There is no unisex brain. The female brain is wired for empathy, communication, and emotional nuance—all shaped by hormonal tides.” ~ Dr. Louann Brizendine, The Female Brain

This quote highlights how hormones influence the female brain’s wiring, and it fits perfectly in your blog’s context of emotional regulation, mental health, and perimenopause.

Here’s the Truth: You’re Not Broken—You’re Becoming

This journey isn’t about “getting back to who you were.” It’s about becoming someone new—with more depth, strength, and self-knowing than ever before.

So if today was hard, and your brain feels scrambled and your mood is in the basement… be gentle.

You are still worthy. You are still you.

You’ve got this. And we’ve got each other.

Hormonally Yours,

Kimberlee Erin

💫 Want support for your perimenopausal journey? Download my free guide: Tired of Hormonal Chaos? Take Back Control – filled with simple steps to feel like yourself again.

Just a heads-up: I’m a Certified Menopause Coaching Specialist and Holistic Nutritionist, and while I love sharing what’s worked for me and my clients, this blog is for informational purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical advice. Always check in with your healthcare provider before starting new supplements, hormones, or treatments—especially since every woman’s perimenopause journey is different. You deserve personalized care that truly fits you.