5 Signs You’re Stuck in the Past (and How to Finally Let Go)

“Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. It means we stop carrying the energy of the past into the present.”
— Yung Pueblo

Perimenopause has a way of stirring things up—not just in your hormones, but in your heart, your head, and your history. Suddenly, past regrets bubble to the surface. Old wounds feel fresh. And those what-if thoughts? They love showing up around 3 a.m., right when you need sleep the most.

I don’t know about you, but these are the things that keep me up at night. The regrets. The missed chances. The old conversations I wish I’d handled differently. It’s like my brain holds a full-blown midnight film festival of everything I’ve ever questioned—and it always ends the same way: emotionally exhausted and still wide awake.

Sound familiar?

Here’s the thing—midlife is not the time to carry all that emotional weight. If you’re feeling stuck in the past, these 5 signs might be your permission slip to finally let it go and reclaim your peace. Because your future deserves more than your past running the show.

1. You’re Still Carrying Resentment

Resentment is like dragging around a bag of emotional bricks. You think you've tucked it away nicely—but the weight is still there, showing up as tension in your shoulders, tightness in your chest, or a snarky snap at your partner over the dishes.

Whether it’s an old betrayal, an unresolved family dynamic, or a situation you wish had gone differently, resentment keeps you tethered to the past. And spoiler alert: it does nothing to change what happened.

Forgiveness isn’t about excusing someone else’s bad behavior. It’s about freeing yourself. Especially now, when your nervous system might already be riding the rollercoaster of hormonal chaos, you don’t need added stress stealing your peace.

🌀 Let it go tip: Start with forgiving yourself. You did the best you could with what you knew then. Period.

2. You Can’t Stop Thinking About What “Could Have Been”

Ah, regrets. Those sneaky little whispers:

“What if I’d taken that job?”
“What if I’d said yes?”
“What if I’d walked away sooner?”

Perimenopause often invites a kind of reflective inventory. You start looking back—hard—and wondering if you missed your shot.

But here’s the deal: you didn’t. The life you’ve lived has given you grit, wisdom, and insight. That “wrong turn” probably taught you something that’s helping you navigate midlife with more clarity now.

Regret only has power when you keep feeding it.

✨ Let it go tip: Instead of obsessing over what didn’t happen, focus on what did—and what still can. You’re not too late. You’re right on time.

3. You’re Constantly Comparing Yourself to Others

Instagram. Old friends. That one woman at yoga with dewy skin and perfectly toned triceps.

Comparison is everywhere. And let’s be honest—it’s exhausting.

Perimenopause can already mess with your sense of identity. Your body feels different. Your energy changes. So when you start scrolling through curated highlight reels, it’s no wonder your inner critic gets loud.

But here’s the truth: No one else is living your life. No one else has your story, your resilience, or your rhythm. You are not behind. You’re just evolving—and that’s allowed to look messy.

🔥 Let it go tip: Celebrate your own wins, no matter how small. Made it through the day without losing it on someone? That’s a win. Cooked dinner even though you wanted cereal? Major victory.

4. You Keep Reliving (or Avoiding) the Pain

Do certain memories hit you like a ton of bricks? Or maybe you’ve buried them so deep they only show up as anxiety, insomnia, or that feeling like something’s “off”?

Whether you’re stuck replaying old hurts or pushing them so far down they sneak out as physical symptoms, it’s a sign your past needs a little attention—not avoidance.

In perimenopause, our stress response can go haywire. That trauma from 15 years ago might suddenly feel very present. And while it’s tempting to shove it all under the rug, healing requires a different approach.

🌿 Let it go tip: Talk to someone you trust. Journal it out. Move your body. Cry if you need to. Let it move through you so it doesn’t keep living in you.

5. You Expect the Same Pain to Happen Again

Ever find yourself thinking, “Why bother? It’ll just end up like last time.”?

That’s not intuition. That’s unhealed fear whispering lies in your ear.

Maybe past relationships didn’t work out. Maybe your job experiences left you jaded. But assuming your future will mirror your past only keeps you stuck. You start shrinking your world. Avoiding risk. Saying no before you even try.

And in midlife, when reinvention is absolutely possible, that mindset will rob you of all the juicy, beautiful things still ahead.

💫 Let it go tip: Remind yourself that you’re not the same woman you were back then. You’re wiser now. You can choose differently—and that changes everything.

Final Thoughts: Your Past Isn’t Your Home

Here’s the thing: You don’t need to erase your past. You just don’t need to live there anymore.

Letting go doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t hurt. It means choosing to move forward anyway—with softness, with strength, and with the deep knowing that the best chapters might still be unwritten.

So if you’ve been feeling stuck, weighed down, or haunted by old stories—it might be time to release them. Gently. Deliberately. And with a whole lot of self-compassion.

Because this next chapter? It’s yours. And it starts now.

🌿 Ready to Move Forward—Mind, Body & Hormones?

If you’re done letting old regrets and emotional chaos call the shots, it’s time to take back your power—starting with your hormones.

💥 Grab my free guide:

👉 Tired of Hormonal Chaos? Take Back Control! 👈

It’s packed with simple, doable steps to help you balance your mood, support your body, and feel more like you again—even when midlife feels like a hot mess.

🔄 Still feeling emotionally drained?

Sometimes it’s not just the past that’s weighing you down—it’s the present too. If your tank feels empty and everything feels like too much, you’re not alone.

👉 Keep reading:

Burnout in Perimenopause? 6 Sanity-Saving Hacks to Get You Back on Track

Packed with practical tools and hormone-supportive strategies to help you reset without burning out.

Hormonally yours,

Kimberlee Erin