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5 Things Your Best Friend Might Be Embarrassed to Tell You About Perimenopause (But Really Shouldn't Be)

“Acceptance Is Sexy On the days when your eyes don’t feel like they did when you were twenty-five, look into them and tell yourself you are still right here. Because you are. Our hormones make us forget this sometimes. But it’s a lie. It is a privilege to live to the age you are now—accept that every day, you are younger than you’ll ever be, and allow it to give you power.” ~ Tamsen Fadal, How to Menopause: Take Charge of Your Health, Reclaim Your Life, and Feel Even Better than Before

The Sh*t Nobody Told You (But Your Best Friend Should Have)

Perimenopause isn’t just a phase—it’s a full-blown hormonal upheaval, a sweaty, foggy, emotional rollercoaster that most of us were never warned about.

And chances are, your best friend is living it in real time. She's smiling through it, posting her gratitude quotes, maybe still rocking her barre class—but behind the scenes? She’s quietly unraveling.

She might feel too embarrassed to admit what’s really going on. But that ends now.

Let’s normalize the weird. Here are 5 juicy, awkward, totally real things she might be going through—and why talking about them is the ultimate power move.

1. Her Periods Have Gone Completely Off the Rails

One month she’s flooding the bedsheets, the next she’s convinced her period ghosted her. It's not early menopause—it’s perimenopause's chaotic energy at work.

🧬 What’s happening? Ovulation is playing hard to get, which sends estrogen and progesterone into an unpredictable dance. Too much estrogen without enough progesterone = heavy, clotty periods. No ovulation? Say hello to skipped cycles and random spotting.

💡 Real Talk Tip: If she’s bleeding through her jeans or doubling up on pads just to leave the house, she’s not being dramatic. That’s a red flag for iron loss or anemia. Tell her to track symptoms and find a doctor who actually gets hormones.

2. Her Mood Swings Could Give You Whiplash (And It's Not Her Fault)

She’s sobbing at dog food commercials and snapping at brunch over toast. Trust me—it’s not personal.

🧬 The sciencey bit: Estrogen affects serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine—aka the neurotransmitters that keep us happy, motivated, and emotionally stable. When estrogen dips, it’s like someone yanked the cord on her emotional parachute.

💡 Real Talk Tip: She’s not “too sensitive”—she’s hormonally hijacked. Regular movement, nourishing food, quality sleep, sunlight, and stress-busting practices like meditation can work wonders for mood. And if she’s still struggling? Support exists—from therapists, functional medicine docs, and yes, for some, medication may be part of the path back to balance.

Want more ways to ride the emotional waves? Don’t miss Why Am I Crying Again?! Understanding and Easing Perimenopausal Mood Swings.

3. Her Sex Drive’s Missing—and She Might Be Too Ashamed to Say It

Low libido? Vaginal dryness? Painful sex? You better believe she’s not bringing that up over lattes.

🧬 Behind the scenes: Estrogen keeps vaginal tissue plump, juicy, and ready for action. As it tanks, dryness, irritation, and pain creep in. It’s called GSM (genitourinary syndrome of menopause), and no, you’re not the only one Googling it in secret.

💡 Real Talk Tip: There are amazing solutions—lubricants, vaginal moisturizers, and localized estrogen can make a huge difference. Open convos with partners help too. And if you want to go deeper (pun intended), check out Midlife, Moisture & the Missing Mojo: Sex & Relationships After 40.

4. She's Always Tired, Spaced Out, or Feeling “Off”—It’s Not Laziness

She’s rereading texts five times, putting her keys in the fridge, and falling asleep in meetings. This isn’t just a busy schedule—it’s hormonal mayhem.

🧬 What’s going on? Estrogen helps the brain use glucose for fuel. As it declines, brain energy tanks—and so does memory, concentration, and stamina. Mix in hot flash-induced insomnia, and you’ve got one exhausted woman.

💡 Real Talk Tip: Balanced meals (think protein + fat + fiber), movement, hydration, and sleep hygiene can help bring the fog into focus. Want to go deeper? Check out So Tired You Could Cry? The Perimenopause Fatigue Fix You’ve Been Waiting For for more strategies to reclaim your energy.

She Feels Like She's Losing Her Mind—But She's Actually Evolving

She’s anxious, sad, and having existential breakdowns in the cereal aisle. And the worst part? She doesn’t even recognize herself.

🧬 The wild twist: Neuroscientist Lisa Mosconi says that midlife hormones aren’t destroying our brains—they’re rewiring them. Perimenopause is a neuroplastic reboot, prepping us for the badassery of our next chapter. It just feels like chaos while it’s happening.

💡 Real Talk Tip: Let’s reframe this. She’s not broken—she’s transforming. And if she feels unrecognizable some days? That’s not the end of her story. It’s the beginning of her becoming.

Final Thoughts: From Whispers to Sisterhood

Perimenopause is like Fight Club—except everyone’s in it, and no one’s talking about it.

But we should be. Because every time we speak the truth, we make space for another woman to breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Oh thank God. Me too.”

So when your bestie says she feels like she’s falling apart, don’t downplay it. Don’t fix it. Just hand her a cup of tea (or wine-free mocktail), look her in the eye, and say:

You’re not crazy. You’re evolving. And you’re not alone.

✨ Want more hormone real talk? Download my free guide Perimenopause Power Moves and pass it along to your sister, bestie, or coworker who’s quietly struggling too.

Together, we’re rewriting the story of midlife—one honest, hilarious, hormone-laced conversation at a time.

Hormonally yours,

Kimberlee Erin

Just a heads-up: I’m a Certified Menopause Coaching Specialist and Holistic Nutritionist, and while I love sharing what’s worked for me and my clients, this blog is for informational purposes only. It’s not a substitute for medical advice. Always check in with your healthcare provider before starting new supplements, hormones, or treatments—especially since every woman’s perimenopause journey is different. You deserve personalized care that truly fits you.